School…?

Haha, so.. This is a new blog and you don’t know I’m homeschooled (only because I’m skipping a grade is all). However, next year I’m going to an early college (high school and college pretty much, in case you didn’t know). 

I have mixed feelings. My parents/family is Christian so I can’t cut my hair short (my hair is fucking long). I can’t get binders/packers. I CAN’T EVEN WEAR TROUSERS. So. I feel like I might die, but at the same time I think I might be able to find LGBT+ friends (other than my girlfriend and my best friend who is an ally). 

Not to mention since it’s (technically public-charter) a public school, I’m hoping there will be some sort of LGBT+ club/event/sOMETHING I’M LONELY. 

I want to wear my hair up, you know? Hide it with a beanie and look how I feel, but then fUCK. Hello, skirts. I’m so happy my family forces me to wear you! Totally, totally doesn’t cause ANY dysphoria. *sarcastic as I cry*

Hell, I’m nearly fifteen, and when I’m sixteen I’ll have a driver’s licence and be able to go out when I want, work a job without anyone driving me, and that type of stuff. I don’t remember the legal requirements, but if it’s possibly I’m getting my own credit card and fuck yeah I’m buying myself whatever the fuck I want. 

That’s just a year away for me and I have to keep positive. I see other trans people going on because they don’t have enough money for top/bottom surgery, and I get why they’d be upset. However, I’m here and I’m like you can fucking cut your hair and wear trousers. They don’t realise how lucky they are and I don’t want to whine about it. All I have to do is survive until I’m sixteen and I can start going out as a boy, but at home I’d still have to act like a girl. Then, two years after that I’ll be free. 

Stay positive, please. Some of you don’t realise how lucky you are, and I’m so proud of you kind of people. 

I just have to keep positive myself. 

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